So as i sit here @ 10:48 pm est, i took two sleeping pills that get rid of headaches bc my head was pounding.
But im not here about that, im here about the arguement that just happened earlier.
"mom" decided to get angry because i didnt put that stupid stick on the door.
Thing is if someone wants to break in they WILL use the damn windows.
Not the fucking door. but thats all irrelevent anywho seeing as if someone wants in they will get in regardles..
She uttered a few days ago that the reason she took my expired ohio id off my door is because " she doesnt know whos up in here when shes not"
only her and i have keys, i returned the keys to the front, and ill do the same about the back when i plan to move the hell out.
But my point is simple. SHES FUCKING HERE 13 of 14 days outta two weeks. To clarify, SHE LEAVES ONCE, EVERY OTHER THURSDAY AND THATS IT
She doesnt go anywhere. She has no life, she has no job, she had no friends. So how the hell would someone "be up in here when shes not here"
Oh thats right shes lying. but i think she forgets that i beleve NOTHING she says to me. EVERYTHING past present future is anticipated as a LIE unless it can be proven truth by evid or common sense.
But she decided to be ignorant and she finally pushed me to my limit, I responded "FUCK YOU, I dont have to do anything. You would NOT return my expired id so i can try to get in school and MOVE OUT"
She started talking about getting the locks to the back door changed, I replied "HEY, IF YOU WOULD GIVE ME MY FUCKING EXPIRED ID SO I CAN TAKE IT WITH ME THE NEXT TIME a SCHOOL WANTS ME TO ENROLL YOU WOULDNT NEED TO CHANGE LOCKS BC I DONT WAN LIVE WITH YOU"
she started mumbling more idiotic lies and i respond. "This is why my brother doesnt like you and keeps his distance and never comes around, What do you expect from a person who you pretty much lied to for 31 years about adoption? Idk if he hates you but im starting to have the same NEGATIVE views of you as him.
I have NO POSITIVE VIEWS Of YOU BC IM THE ONE WHO got stuck dealing with you your lies and your probably fake illness"
Mean i know, but it'll probably buy me a few days to a week of silence.
As much as i wanna be with rebecca and have mom finally leave my phone on and get outta my way.
Id rather let her know that her 50 years of lying and bullshit is finally collapsing around here as all her untruths are being exposed.
Funny thing is because i left mc donalds to come home i stopped at the church and prayed for forgiveness and peace,
Then this happens. I wonder if its me or my luck. I feel awful that i have to become this sephiroth like person whos heartless and merely wants to destroy everything And bring despair.
But i honestly have no other choice. Im prolly gonna start recording her silently and posting it for everyone to say.
I dont want pitty really. i just want people to know why my fb,twitter,blog,etc is the way it is. And i really want people to know that im GREY. I stand in the middle, not good, not evil, but capable of either if given reason.
Again all i want is peace. i dont wanna fight and argue over petty shit. im glad the gas is outta my name but i dont like that ill probably end up having to take her sorry ass to court.
Thank god i took pix of the "letter" she wrote on feb forth. im sure a court can prove she wrote it just by her hand writing and the fact she spells mother "morther" (showing her ignorance but shes so smart with her 3 degrees)
If anyone has any HELPFUL suggestions that they think i havent thought of let me know.
But please dont repeat things ive already thought of. like selling my things to get moved.
Theres no way my tv would sell nobody would pay for shipping and im not going to just bring it to them.
i have decided to sell some things like pandy battery and the unlocked at&t blackjack II
I personally hope to wake up with a buy request as i just wanna be able to spend some alone time with becca since her mom was home all last week so i didnt get any alone time with her.
And for all you pervs no, its not about sex. its the little things that matter as i am happiest when im with her, and the fact that i get to just chill and relax with her till she has to be to work...
Yea... shes the one thing that brings me happiness and gives me a small chance at no bullshot.
I just want out. I also told mom she has no sons, no friends, no family. Shes pretty much alone in all of this.
I dont know anyone who will want to be around her or help her once they get wind of who she is and all the lies.
So i guess thats it for me bitching. i am soooo tired of this life it isnt funny and im trying to better myself.
I noticed she didnt say shit about my id not one time when she finally forced me to raise my voice.
She barely said anything. Its like she knew a verbal raping was coming and she wanted to know what it was about.
She was in the door all smiling and shit like everything was cool earlier. I really shit in her cereal apparently by not acknowledging her and using the backdoor like normal.
when her microwave breaks finally shed better get a cab or get on the bus with a new one bc im not doing it.
Im still mowing over the idea of being homeless in a shelter bc id be less stressed then being here.
so yeah. i dunno. i know nobody except for like 3 ppl other then myself care but i need a place to be able to voice things.
All in all, if you have family you can talk to and or depend on for anything, DONT TAKE IT FOR GRANTED. I ENVY alot of pp who have family and all that i dont really know how to get thru to my brother.
Its like pulling teeth to actually catch up with him just to hang out and talk. i mean i know he prolly doesnt wanna be around or anywhere near mom but why am i at falt for this?
I see her lies and bullshit now and just wanna try to make things better. I realise that he nor my dad are the enemy, thus the enemy is one room over and pretending to be sleep.
Why cant i seem to get a win? from nov till now the only good thing to come into my life is rebecca. and even she came in on an negative note but we've connected and corrected that.
Sorry for the long blog, idk what to do. im hanging on by a few threads. just so tired of this bs.
IDL asking for anything but.. I need help. ideas etc. just want out. own place and peace. idc if my t mobile sim stays dead. means when i leave she cant annoy me. gonna have to tell becca i tried but my mom forced a huge arguement and i might not see her on wednesday due to lack of funds.
Story of my life. "If i had somewhere to go, i'da been done went. i aint neva had alot, just had a lil bit. I know im gon shine on em, IM gettin IT show out everytime on em, im getting it"
Quoted from young buck. i dont care what i have to do to be able to provide for myself and rebecca but im gonna keep spamming job apps and trying to hustle the internet until i get my shot at peace and freedom. know that if i get any help or i manage to get it done i wont fail and end up back here.
But im not here about that, im here about the arguement that just happened earlier.
"mom" decided to get angry because i didnt put that stupid stick on the door.
Thing is if someone wants to break in they WILL use the damn windows.
Not the fucking door. but thats all irrelevent anywho seeing as if someone wants in they will get in regardles..
She uttered a few days ago that the reason she took my expired ohio id off my door is because " she doesnt know whos up in here when shes not"
only her and i have keys, i returned the keys to the front, and ill do the same about the back when i plan to move the hell out.
But my point is simple. SHES FUCKING HERE 13 of 14 days outta two weeks. To clarify, SHE LEAVES ONCE, EVERY OTHER THURSDAY AND THATS IT
She doesnt go anywhere. She has no life, she has no job, she had no friends. So how the hell would someone "be up in here when shes not here"
Oh thats right shes lying. but i think she forgets that i beleve NOTHING she says to me. EVERYTHING past present future is anticipated as a LIE unless it can be proven truth by evid or common sense.
But she decided to be ignorant and she finally pushed me to my limit, I responded "FUCK YOU, I dont have to do anything. You would NOT return my expired id so i can try to get in school and MOVE OUT"
She started talking about getting the locks to the back door changed, I replied "HEY, IF YOU WOULD GIVE ME MY FUCKING EXPIRED ID SO I CAN TAKE IT WITH ME THE NEXT TIME a SCHOOL WANTS ME TO ENROLL YOU WOULDNT NEED TO CHANGE LOCKS BC I DONT WAN LIVE WITH YOU"
she started mumbling more idiotic lies and i respond. "This is why my brother doesnt like you and keeps his distance and never comes around, What do you expect from a person who you pretty much lied to for 31 years about adoption? Idk if he hates you but im starting to have the same NEGATIVE views of you as him.
I have NO POSITIVE VIEWS Of YOU BC IM THE ONE WHO got stuck dealing with you your lies and your probably fake illness"
Mean i know, but it'll probably buy me a few days to a week of silence.
As much as i wanna be with rebecca and have mom finally leave my phone on and get outta my way.
Id rather let her know that her 50 years of lying and bullshit is finally collapsing around here as all her untruths are being exposed.
Funny thing is because i left mc donalds to come home i stopped at the church and prayed for forgiveness and peace,
Then this happens. I wonder if its me or my luck. I feel awful that i have to become this sephiroth like person whos heartless and merely wants to destroy everything And bring despair.
But i honestly have no other choice. Im prolly gonna start recording her silently and posting it for everyone to say.
I dont want pitty really. i just want people to know why my fb,twitter,blog,etc is the way it is. And i really want people to know that im GREY. I stand in the middle, not good, not evil, but capable of either if given reason.
Again all i want is peace. i dont wanna fight and argue over petty shit. im glad the gas is outta my name but i dont like that ill probably end up having to take her sorry ass to court.
Thank god i took pix of the "letter" she wrote on feb forth. im sure a court can prove she wrote it just by her hand writing and the fact she spells mother "morther" (showing her ignorance but shes so smart with her 3 degrees)
If anyone has any HELPFUL suggestions that they think i havent thought of let me know.
But please dont repeat things ive already thought of. like selling my things to get moved.
Theres no way my tv would sell nobody would pay for shipping and im not going to just bring it to them.
i have decided to sell some things like pandy battery and the unlocked at&t blackjack II
I personally hope to wake up with a buy request as i just wanna be able to spend some alone time with becca since her mom was home all last week so i didnt get any alone time with her.
And for all you pervs no, its not about sex. its the little things that matter as i am happiest when im with her, and the fact that i get to just chill and relax with her till she has to be to work...
Yea... shes the one thing that brings me happiness and gives me a small chance at no bullshot.
I just want out. I also told mom she has no sons, no friends, no family. Shes pretty much alone in all of this.
I dont know anyone who will want to be around her or help her once they get wind of who she is and all the lies.
So i guess thats it for me bitching. i am soooo tired of this life it isnt funny and im trying to better myself.
I noticed she didnt say shit about my id not one time when she finally forced me to raise my voice.
She barely said anything. Its like she knew a verbal raping was coming and she wanted to know what it was about.
She was in the door all smiling and shit like everything was cool earlier. I really shit in her cereal apparently by not acknowledging her and using the backdoor like normal.
when her microwave breaks finally shed better get a cab or get on the bus with a new one bc im not doing it.
Im still mowing over the idea of being homeless in a shelter bc id be less stressed then being here.
so yeah. i dunno. i know nobody except for like 3 ppl other then myself care but i need a place to be able to voice things.
All in all, if you have family you can talk to and or depend on for anything, DONT TAKE IT FOR GRANTED. I ENVY alot of pp who have family and all that i dont really know how to get thru to my brother.
Its like pulling teeth to actually catch up with him just to hang out and talk. i mean i know he prolly doesnt wanna be around or anywhere near mom but why am i at falt for this?
I see her lies and bullshit now and just wanna try to make things better. I realise that he nor my dad are the enemy, thus the enemy is one room over and pretending to be sleep.
Why cant i seem to get a win? from nov till now the only good thing to come into my life is rebecca. and even she came in on an negative note but we've connected and corrected that.
Sorry for the long blog, idk what to do. im hanging on by a few threads. just so tired of this bs.
IDL asking for anything but.. I need help. ideas etc. just want out. own place and peace. idc if my t mobile sim stays dead. means when i leave she cant annoy me. gonna have to tell becca i tried but my mom forced a huge arguement and i might not see her on wednesday due to lack of funds.
Story of my life. "If i had somewhere to go, i'da been done went. i aint neva had alot, just had a lil bit. I know im gon shine on em, IM gettin IT show out everytime on em, im getting it"
Quoted from young buck. i dont care what i have to do to be able to provide for myself and rebecca but im gonna keep spamming job apps and trying to hustle the internet until i get my shot at peace and freedom. know that if i get any help or i manage to get it done i wont fail and end up back here.
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