What?

Some people have to learn...

Some people wait their turn....

Some people have to fight...

Some people give their life...

Until further notice. Tired of the back and forth, tired of the nonsense, and random texts and improperly attempting to engage me. Im a champion, legend, history.

Leadership certification.

Finally done. almost inco time.

This process was slightly frustrating due to how mindless a lot of it is. But hey, its done, probably wont have to do it over, and it'll make all resumes from now on look better. (Now ill have to use their resume writing service so i can get that done too lol. im abusing the school for its stuffs in a good way.

Productivity.

Happy thanksgiving to those who celebrate it.

While I celebrate thanksgiving, I dont see today as something for me to celebrate... So many things have gone wrong that all i can really do is try to stick to myself and continue my battle for freedom and an enjoyable life.

With that said, i decided to make today a productive day. I finally managed to find....

For those of you who cant figure out what this is...

I am happy to have a valid copy of this. (updated in nov) as opposed to the 20 year old PAPER copy.

So pretty much with everything thats going on, I still pile on more and more things for me to hopefully accomplish.  I am going to make plans to get the written exam out of the way Preferably  when i have some down time but if i can get it done asap then so be it. And if i dont have any friends who have a car or are willing to help then i will take it upon myself to "get er done "

There is a driving school in north olmsted that is valid and will lend you the car for the test AND give you a practice (hour i think) before you actually take said test. 

All in all this is one of the biggest accomplishments to come in my life thus far, I say that because actually getting it done when you know no one who has a car and people offer to help and then flake... Yeah.. I am going to smile in the faces of all of those who though id fail. I'm still here and I still persist. I shall never surrender! DO WORK.

Nov 8's ramblings.

So this morning has started off kind of blah, first I managed to leave my headphones on my bed (d’oh) then, as I get to the corner I realize I don’t have enough cash for my morning coffee and seeing as I’m not going to get charged TWO dollars to use my cc for it I just say it’ll have to wait till I get to school. I also lost my white (fav) pair of headphones (wtf? Maybe the tech teacher will have seen them on Wednesday) so that’s pretty much how my morning started today.

In the real life front, everything seems to be going… I personally feel like I need to drop this math class and just retake the course in the spring. The one math class a day and one SECTION a day seems more my speed because we don’t practice at all, we just breeze thru 2-5 sections a class on T, R.

Other news for real life, I need to focus more on the things I would like to accomplish.

#1 I need to look up some driving schools so I can get a license. (Or finally find a reliable alternative but I don’t see a valid alt yet)

#2 I need to order the parts for my old laptop so it can be repaired.

#3 I need to finally try and deal with my old iPod, get that new battery installed and see if I can manage to copy my old iTunes library and all its contents PROPERLY to my mac. (I hate the transition from mac to windows with devices that are suppose to work properly on both bc they clearly still have limitations)

#4 I need to finally deal with my hair and get started on my Speech (My most memorable moment.) Seeing as my life is pretty boring I figure ill just use the highlight of my life, which happened in 2003 when I moved away from all the nonsense to Florida.

Maybe I should use sticky notes more seeing as sticky notes for mac actually seems to work unlike the app for android phone lol.

As for progress, I’ve narrowed my list of potential friends (yes, I’m referring to women) down to about 5, there is only one woman I’m actually interested in possibly pursuing more with, the other women are just friends and women who seem like they’d be decent when it comes to friendship.

Random note: Single & dating 2011/2012 seems to be a huge headache and it takes a lot more effort than its actually worth.

I honestly would like to (optimistically) spend holidays with friends and family. Spending it with those who will help me have a positive and stress free time would be great.

On the gaming front, I managed to get AdSense for my vlog channel on YouTube as well as my gaming channel on YouTube so that’s a huge plus, now I just need to figure out how I can make actual money off it because school is expensive and my mom thinks I’m like made of money. (I’m not and I still do everything)

Uncharted 3 is fun at times. Sometimes the difficulty and lack of hp seems absurd. Hopefully they will patch in a few things like the old sniper aiming system because currently if you have any long sniper (T bolt or reg sniper) and you throw a grenade it goes literally where ever the hell it wants to as opposed to it going to where I had it aimed. So maybe they expect you to use that lame arch thing in “the heat of the moment” which makes no logical sense because usually it’ll result in you being downed, grabbed, or flat out dead. (I play on crushing / hard, the other modes and settings are pretty boring to a boss lol)

So all in all I still have my plans, I personally think I want to get UMVC3 but I feel like id need a madcatz arcade stick as well to actually want to take it seriously lol.

Resident evil: ORC has been pushed back to 3/20/12 so it looks like PSN’s “Gears of war” is going to have a huge delay and that’s around my birthday so ill probably be able to afford it given that I estimate that schools next check disbursement will fall around my bday given that school starts back at the end of Jan if I’m not mistaken and it usually takes them two months to give kickbacks.

So my goals are pretty much set. I am open to suggestions, Alts, ad-libs, as long as it’s positive and gets issues resolved.

Oh and there’s the issue of dear old mom doing her same nonsense and annoying the living hell out of me (as usual eh?) So it would be NICE to actually get moved and maybe I should have included that in my goals list, I mean its in the back of my mind and as soon as the change arises I will take it and disappear but until then I’m stuck dealing with stupid and pointless stuff.

I don’t want to even go into her stupidity. Its know that she’s a pretty sad person atm and wants nothing more than to make my life hell, but when I’m gone she’ll be begging me to come back, I guess that’s why she’s so hell bent on me living up stairs, I could probably pull it off I managed to get 1-2 roommates (seeing as it’s a 3 bed room it could happen pretty easily) but then I get to deal with no privacy and other nonsense.

So in the end I guess I will just try to make things pan out as id like and take it from there.

Ill try to make sure I post updates at least once every two weeks so people who actually want to know what’s going on and aren’t speaking to me directly will have some sort of clue.

Failure is not an option and the things that I need to get done will get done. It’s just a matter of time and money.

See you in the next post J

Uncharted 3 Co ops!

Check out my youtube videos for Uncharted 3 & Dead Nation. I may take a break from DN because i want to get all the crushing stages unlocked for co ops and i want to do videos with friends, esp with all the changes. Rate, subscribe, and leave me feedback.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Nightmarel0rd

What's next?

I'm not too sure of a few things right now. So im going to try to work on myself and my situation(s)

I dont want to be "single" for the holidays, I would like that feeling of looking forward to seeing someone and doing things. I am without this currently.

Seeing as i have no clue what to think of rebecca, amanda has made her choices, I suppose its time to get back to that drawing board..

There is one woman I feel interested in but atm im not sure what to make of it.

Any suggestions?

New Dead nation videos posted.

So I've finally managed to get all my Co-Op videos from dead nation from last weekend on youtube.

Feel free to check them out, and tell me what else you'd like to see. I plan on pwning face in uc3 and i need to go reserve me a copy so i dont have to deal with bs or wait for silly shit like the downtown gamestop because they fucking fail at life.


http://www.youtube.com/user/Nightmarel0rd

Thats where you can find my gaming videos.

Thanks more to come laterz.

Mr. Know it all.

Do you know what its like to be right the majority of the time? To always have people mad at you because you have the correct and most logical answer to alot of things?

Do you pray, wish, whatever it is to be WRONG yet its like fate has damned you with being "right"?

I do. Im tired of being right, Im tired of the sight, im tired of knowing, im tired of being able to empathize, im tired of being able to sympathize.

I dont want this. CURSE, anymore. Seriously.

I just want.... To be.... loved, and APPRECIATED.


The End.

Summary of what's been going on in a nutshell.

(I wrote this on the train to school in ms word 2011 so dont be mad... it seems rather long)

So this morning I decided to write a more detailed update for the blog. I decided I wanted to give a more detailed rundown as to what’s going on, my progress with school, my “relationship status” and many other tid-bits, which I tend to neglect from Facebook and other things.

Firstly school. School is pretty much as I expected, math is still the bane of my existence and if it weren’t for math id probably have little to nothing to worry about at school. On my “progress report” I’m doing fine in every class except math. (3/4 Marked with an S, Math marked with a U) This is due to the fact that maybe its because math is at 10 am, or the fact that I don’t feel I’m learning and I have to teach myself, it could be due to the fact we cover anywhere from two to 4 chapters per class depending on time and other random variables. I hope it gets better and I hope I don’t lose my funding.

While the 3.2 GPA is nice and all, I’m not sure if I can keep it up due to my stress factors… Both people whom I thought would be good tutors decided to flake, or I’m just not speaking to or unable to get a hold of them (Rebecca and Amanda.) Speaking of which I guess the whole Amanda situation is entirely my fault, as for Rebecca, what can I say? I don’t speak to her much, we exchange a few texts at random and then it goes quiet. I’m honestly not sure what to think, make of, or do about the situation.

I don’t want to see her and then cause awkward moments like when I had to go get my suit for the speech, I saw her and it was awkward, we exchanged words, I literally talked to her on and of while she was at work for about 2 hours and things seemed to be settled. Maybe I ask too much from people, maybe the fact that I feel communication is mandatory in order for things to go well is just too much, maybe people need the whole “ quiet time “ when it comes to being in a relationship. I just wish she wouldn’t of flipped sides and changed her mind on the things she originally brought up. She is err should I say was the main reason I decided to get back into school, so I could provide for her and myself. My main thing was trying to help her out and make her life better than what it is BECAUSE SHE SYMBOLIZED she needed a strong man who could deal with things and make sure she did what was needed, as well as took care of her health due to her condition. As for me, my goals are pretty much the same, I would like to spend the holiday with people who give a damn about me, maybe a girlfriend or some close friends, enjoy the holiday, have fun, eat, and not deal with the stress. Seeing as school won't be in session for Christmas I guess I need to get myself in gear as well as figure more things out. I wanted to get my license before the snow hit, but I don’t think that’s going to happen due to I can clearly see the change in Amanda, how she texts, how she neglects certain details, how she’s devious about petty shit. I’ve always been an open advocate of just saying what’s up, if you want to date someone else, don’t like someone, are feeling any type of way just tell the person you’re “talking to” what’s up and allow for them to either say “ok lets work this out” or “ok I’m done lets part ways”

The thing with Amanda and myself has seemingly been a tug-of-war from like 2 weeks in. I blame myself because I should have been better and anticipated the fact that she, just like Rebecca are at that age where “ you cant tell me shit and I’m a boss and you cant tell me anything I have to fail / experience failing for myself multiple times before I catch on. Me personally, I wish I had someone to stop me from doing certain things or giving me a “hey think about it from a different point of view perspective when I was younger, but alas I didn’t so I’m stuck with the decisions I’ve made and cant really change anything. I may just say fuck it and Google a driving school and waste what cash I have in order to finally not have to deal with buses, trains, and annoying high school kids who obviously don’t have a clue. (Oh so negative Night.) So in conclusion, if I manage to get math handled, I think ill be in the clear school wise. As for everything else, I’ve cut Amanda out; at least for a week or two, I don’t know. I guess the part of me that cares way too much cant easily be suppressed. I don’t know what to do about Rebecca, chimm says just cut all ties and all women are nuts lol.

He’s been right about her sneaking around so idk. I’m just tired of doing everything alone and then when I find people who seem like they want the same things and have the same interests / goals in life something comes along and wrecks the entire game plan and I’m forced to ad-lib and come up with yet another plan around shit. I just wish I had more real friends and a gf / woman friend who had a brain and didn’t just give up because “my friends know what’s best for me” err some other dumb cliché nonsense.  I HATE people who cant just be straightforward about shit. All the lies and “I don’t want to hurt you” bullshit is moot especially when you’re the one being devious behind my back. Blah. So I guess that’s it. I may just post a link to this in word form because it’s too long to post straight out to the blog.

Youtube.

I have a mac, a pvr and a ps3. i am recording game play on weekends and i upload during the week. if you want to game, need help, need a walkthru or something let me know.

Nightmarel0rd on youtube, and yes thats a number 0.

The REVIEW.

Hi, its NML writing up a review for somethings i bought.

Lets get to the basics, when i buy things i think about a few things, price, quality, shipping, and durability.

Price bc im a freshman college student who doesnt have much money, i dont wanna be paying the school back some silly sum of 100k before i have at least a masters degree and a job in a field that i dont see as drone work(unless i make it big on youtubez)

Quality because i want it to look decent, for it to be ok'd by my gf since she will probably live with me sooner or later and i have the husband mentality. (D'oh whats mine is hers and whats hers is hers lol fml)

Shipping because i dont want it to cost a lot to get here and i dont currently have a car or ride to take me to get things, so i want the shipping to be available and cheap. and if it can be shipped here, it can be moved by one man without a super issue.

Durability, because if it cant stand up to some usage, wear, etc, might as well of just shopped at family dollar and got the super cheap shit and just replaced it as time went on. i dont want a spoon, fork or knife to come undone due to me using it on some super tough steak that i burnt on accident. LOL.

So onto the basics. I got an haier 0.7 cubic foot microwave which is 700 watts. the same wattage as moms super old microwave.

First thing to note, it has a turn table. Living the way im trying to break free from. this is the FIRST microwave to ever be in this house to have a turn table. both of moms old microwaves have no turn table and food never gets cooked thoroughly imo.

Oh shit son, A Microwave with a turn table in this house? OH NO HE DIDNT!

You'll notice how much smaller it is, and how many more buttons it has. Moms microwave doesn't have a light inside. so you cant see if the foods fully cooked. now here's the funny thing. She paid $50 for her microwave years ago (and she bought it second hand from some guy.) i paid $64.64 SHIPPED (brand new never used) for mine. So you tell me, who's the better shopper?

Her microwave on bottom, mine on top bc its the KING!

Mine saves space, Hers is just a huge waste of it.

So Before i post about my plate and the yummy foods, i figure id gross you out by showing you the inside of moms microwave. Mine you, she has and has had money, she opted to buy a samsung galaxy tab, if you're a friend and have known me a while you know ive spoken on this idiocy many times.

Pics or it didnt happen you say? mmk.

 You notice that top part coming down? yeah i fixed it the best i could, it came all the way apart due to the grease coating the inside and its having an effort on the screws. You wanna know whats funny? she blames me. I dont eat fish... the stuff you see inside, you guessed it, fish grease and breading from her fish. That shit pops and sizzles everytime she puts it in there to reheat but its my fault yo. if you look back i started telling her about her microwave last year when i was dating karen. did she do anything about it? nope, she'd rather buy cell phones and tablets. so when her microwave bites the dust. i wont be without (hopefully ill be working and in my new apt) like a boss!

Her microwave, notice the lack of features.

my 64 dollar nuker. notice the features, notice how simple it is to use. and notice that it actually reheats and doesnt just wanna fully cook everything lol.

Ok enough about how my microwave is pretty and hers looks shitty. lets get on to the plate and my food test.

Now mind you ive tried to make waffles in her nuker, never come out how i want them, if i had to grade it id give her microwave a D-

No turn table and all it does is cook really lowers the grade. theres only one thing really to complain about when it comes to mine. My dinner plates are too big lol well not too big but it doesnt spin if i used a full sized dinner plate from my set. i have to use a smaller one. (huge ass plates yo. fit for a king!)

I removed the plate from the box, i just wanted ppl to see how they were packaged.

I personally like the modern print design and feel it would look good in MY apartment.

For the test, i decided to nuke 3 waffles in my microwave. I wanted them to actually be crispy and not soggy.

pwned waffles ftw. Crispy? read below!

Derp Derp i like patterns. JP symbols on my pillowcase like wut? i ganked it from liz.

So yeah. the test was simple. i wanted to see how close i could make waffle without a toaster, texture wise. i wanted them to be crispy and have a slight crunch, but not super hard. with my microwave u dont get a crush, u get more of a smoosh. and the middle is ALWAYS soggy as hell. theres absolutely no way arounnd it. with mine, they're crisp, nice. a tiny bit of sog from the vapor due to heating frozen waffles directly. but it worked a hell of alot better then using hers. all in all i gave my microwave an honest A- (next kitchen thing to get? you guessed it. A MFIN TOASTER!)

All in all i was pleased with the $64 i spent. i could use the microwave in my room n she wouldnt know (its that quiet) the plates are GREAT, even tho too big for my small nuker. the hold heat at THE BOTTOM AND NOT NEAR THE EDGES. that was huge for me. im use to picking up a plate and getting slightly burned. but not with these. the waffles and bottom of the plate was SUPER HOT. but the sides where you would wanna hold or grab the plate. just warm. the plates get a solid A. not gonna take off points due to my poor calc on buying a smaller microwave lol.

anywho thats it. a long a long winded post. but i just wanted to say that u can do alot and spend less then 150. i got half of my kitchen for 50 bux to start. sure im gonna upgrade and go bigger, microwave, stove, etc when my life gets on track. but for 50 + 64. i did a hell of a job. and im happy with my products.. now as for home depot shipping (they dented the back of my nuker) they can smd.

The full run down.

So lets see. I passed all my classes, I did the WORST in math. I had an 83% before the final. After the final i had a 77%. I forgot to turn in the extra cred paper on the last day and i just said eff it. So college for the most part is going ok. Im not really gonna judge it until i get into upper classes and close to my first degree. Thus far, as long as im able to keep the stress my mom brings out of school i do perfectly fine. Side note, i feel if i had a MBP or working laptop for the first semester i would have did much better in math. mainly due to part of the homework was online, and part of it was text book. Hopefully ill get that MBP the moment they kick back my $ for school and my loan.

Things ive done while out of school.

I bought the following items for my apartment and self while im stuck at moms.

#1 Arctic king Personal air conditioner (best thing ever for these hot summer days)

#2 Haier 0.7 Cu. Ft. 700 Watt Microwave.

#3 $25 dollar flatware set from walmart.com

#4 $25 dollar dinnerware set from walmart.com

#5 a new ps3 offical bluetooth. (will work for the phone, mac book, and ps3 with ease)

#6 Paid off at&t and restored my internet service. (no more pirated wifi crapping out and preventing me from homework and other things)

#7  $200 in clothes. (no more of that two pair of shorts and 3 color A shirts nonsesne)
I feel that this was VERY important. One to stop people from staring so much, two for my own self esteem and i was tired of wearing the same shit daily, and three bc i have to start building from the ground up. im gonna buy more clothes and ill look decent now for job interviews.

#8 a brand new pair of shoes same shoes i bought from nikeid.com but in a more jamaica smokin mon color. ;)

The final peices of the puzzle are the mac book pro, The HD PVR, and a job.
The first two are seemingly easier due to the fact i have loan money plus kick backs from the school otw. So now all i have to do is break the curse and actually get hired in ohio. i was able to do it in florida with no issue. but here its like pulling teeth. hopefully college will change that.

All in all thats about it. im just trying to do what i can and deal with things as they come.
Im going to review my microwave and dishes in a seperate blog with pix. if you're a budget college student or just starting out, you might wanna check it out.

I've been neglecting the blog / vlog for a while so here's an update.

Hello world! I bring to you, the night with the crown! He get down! (Know that!)

Seriously though, hello readers. I haven't updated people on my life, games, and stuff for a while, so here I am bringing the news. School is going well, I'm passing all of my classes thus far, school ends in about two-ish weeks, and if I continue to do what I'm doing ill have 12 credit hours under my belt toward my associates. My mom is still a twat, the stupid shit is still there and I'm just sitting back waiting for the semister to end. Hopefully ill be able to find a job, ill use some loan money for an apt and take it from there. I am constantly figuring things out and working toward my personal happiness. Hopefully ill get moved out, find a way to afford a mac book pro, get internet in my new apt, get an hd recorder and start youtubing. There is alot more I can talk about and break down so from now on ill try to blog during breaks or on my phone since that's what I'm doing now. And don't forget my cell has been off service wise for about two months. Ill write more later. :)

It's been a while since i wrote a blog so i guess todays a good down day to do one!

So as a lot of you know i decided to enroll in college to further my education and better myself. It's been about a month give or take and it has been an interesting experience. Its new and different. the mathy part is a challenge, psyche and english would be a joke if i had a laptop (mac book or go home) to do notes and stuff with. The most difficult thing? all of the hot chicks that attend this school. a few of my friends and i have come to the same conclusion. The difficulty comes from not fucking around and doing something stupid with one of these women, whether it be skip class, get caught doing something naughty, etc etc.
That's the big thing that takes focus... now factor in no sex from the one you're with (if applicable to your situation) and bam you have a prime set-up for failure and or fumble!

Lets see what else can i mention. my phone as usual goes on and off so much to the point where i burned her sim card and she paid $20 for a new one. And now that ones off to which means i should probably burn this one as well so she gets the god damn clue..
Yesterday i left my keys at school so i got all the way to her house and had to knock on the effing window due to me not having my keys, then i had to fight with my shitty windows laptop and pirate the signal just long enough to get the phone number to the TLC building here. thn i had to wait till this am to get my keys and for those mfers to find it. i told them id be here in the am to pick them up but apparently that didnt register to someone. So now i have my keys back and it being a wednesday its a short day so i pretty much have nothing to do and can pretty much just fuck around all day.. i got all the online homework for math done which means i have no online math homework due till the 30th of this month which is great bc i typically tend to forget homework.

I need to get a computer really bad bc then i could do all my stuff on the go, seeing as most classroom doors are left open i could just pull up to eng,psy or math early, sit down while no ones there and blitz it with my incredible typing speed. (Yes people still look at me funny even in a college due to the fact that i rarely look down as i dont need to see the keys and i know the damn keyboard isnt going anywhere unless i move it.. thus making me a boss!)

Lets see.. this month is coming to an end.. i tired to give rebecca stuff for her birthday and make sure she was ok and had everything she needed.. we're suppose to hang out at the mall out here between her jobs on saturday.. im gonna try to use that time to talk to her about some things and hopefully make the bond tighter, who knows.. i dont understand alot of her actions and i feel like im the only one who cares enough to try to do anything. i literally bend over backwards and im not met with any effort imho on her behalf which is really starting to become a bother as if she wants things to work then she has to put in work too. i cant just do all the shit on my own and if she doesnt have any money to contribute to the move out / move in all hells gonna break loose bc 3.5k or however much they decide to put into my account will only cover things for so long. plus im prolly gonna have to do some foot work too on that front. all work and no play (literally) makes nml a dull and VENGFUL MAN! not to mention all these hot chicks keep staring at me and its giving me all sorts of ideas and naughty thoughts. and why do i keep attracting younger women? i dont look my damn age so i guess its zomfg lets fuck with him bc he looks young? got aggro'd by some lady yesterday bc im openly seen moving fast as hell from one place to another.. they dont realise this is a job to me and i see it as one. i dress in typical work clothes, i come to work on my education and then vanish. no time for fun bs and games and failure is not an option.. now only if there wasnt so many hot & fuck worthy women... boy do i need to get laid..

So its a new day.

So i finally got around to loading up all the vlogs, old and new.. i may have inadvertantly narfed all the numbers but who cares eh? They are some good videos showing the progress made.. even me being a tad emo over rebecca being... bleh irl.

But here are some foot notes for all of you whom are too lazy to just click a youtube video of mine and minimize it.

I got into college, got all the financial aid shit worked out. I have 12 credit hours, 3 classes for the summer as alot of other shit was packed and these hours are insane. i hope i can find a job to work around the free time that i have so until the money from loans comes im never at moms.

I got some nifty new toys.  the expensive skull candys with a mic really makes me happy even tho they take a lil getting use to and i dont think the volume button works with my phone properly but least i dont have to hold the damn phone up to my face. im tryin to avoid the cancer from cellphone bs lol.

I got a 12 MPIXEL camera for taking hi-res photos n maybe ill do a vlog or two with it once i figure out wtf i get a memory card for this thing or something along those lines :( i  could put my two gb memory thing in it but i need to find an adaptor for it doh!
i think ima go get a 8 GB pen drive for my tv shows on ps3 as i can watch a season before i have to delete and add. (most the shows i watch are about 7 GB a season)

So all in all if i ignore my mom completely and just keep away the headaches i should  be just fine. i think ima just go get a few more things and head out. kinda tired of sitting here and i need to get rid of this headache and do homework for tomorrow.

Ill add more later or tomorrow. i holla!

how to get rid of an annoying caller on ur android phone.

This is for my fb friend who needed assistance. First you have a variety of options. T mobile allows call blocking if you login to ur account online. Sprint might as well as at&t and vzw. But if u don't feel like calling them or want to be possibly charged. Most android phones have to send all calls to vm option. Sprint now has a merged google voice app. U might need to look into that. If u use the send all calls to vm option. They need to be a contact. This is nifty for annoying ex's parents, etc. Simple long touch on the persons name after u go into contacts. Press options and u should see something similar to the pics above. If they are not a contact. Most android phones will let u blacklist them. This will reject all future calls. Ur phone will not ring. Depending on ur fw and provider it may give them the this number has been disconnected message. I know it does for googlevoice bc thatz how I get rid of pests.

What a wonder-FILLED mothers day?

So I woke up today. And I do my normal. Go to the rr get something to drink (oj) etc. As I'm drinking my oj. I hear "can I have some cereal, I don't have any" my typical response is always the same.. "no" is what I utter.. but seeing as today is mothers day I figure what the hell. This maybe the last mothers day she has any sons what's so ever so I go ahead and open my unopened cereal and give her some, and I utter happy mothers day. Mind you I have headphones on. I don't get a thank you for anything I do, EVER. I gave her kool-aid and a row of cookies outta my unopened family pack the day before yesterday. No thank you no nada. So as I come home yesterday from hanging out with diz & his bm I walk thru the door and there's a measuring cup on the broken ass microwave with a bright yellow rang under it (so that I see it? Lol) indiciating she needs sugar. I go ahead and open my unopened 7lb bag of sugar and give her some. Not even a thank you for that either. Now let me make this clear. I HAVE ENOUGH FOOD FOR THE MONTH THANKS TO THE WORK I DO. AND ITS ENOUGH FOR ME. The past 2-3 times she's went to the grocery store I have received nothing other then a box of cereal and some milk. I am expected to survive off of that and whatever petty cash ($100) a month max for the entire month. Now factor in she takes $30 out for the cell phones internet. (Which constantly goes on and off at het discression) bc u know every time she gets mad she does what? That's right. Suspends or deactivates my phone line. Do I get a refund of my $30? Hell no. Now lets factor in. Bus fare is 5$ for the day. Or $23 for a (7) day pass. Seeing as I'm searching for a job AND trying to get back in college. I have to get bus fare handled before anything. This is my pathetic "life" and what I am struggling to break free from. So with that said. I leave you all with the picture of what I walked out of my room to find. A note from my lovely mom. You can read it for yourself. And the second picture? My reply. (Incase you dunno, thats my phones sim card) "No sacrafice, no victory"

So close to the end of the bitch.

As I stand at the doorstep of freedom. One last possible obsticle stands before me. The $12-20 bux its gonna require for me to get my transcripts and get them to the school. Its the last step in order to get finanical aid and get registered for classes. Also. Tri c west has my psych classes so... I may just go thar.. I have a supreme headache right now from the college and all the running around then the math tests. Fux. Ok that was from last night. The updated mess for today includes a picture. Oh where's the broken microwave? Missing again. Don't you just love her absurdly broken logix? Instead of buying things you need like a washing machine, dryer, stove, new microwave that actually works, new bed for yourself, etc. What do you do? You go out and buy a samsung galaxy tablet. That's not the worse part. The worse part is she has absolutely no idea how to use the thing, she constantly asks me for help or calls t mobile or even samsung (lol) asking questions and shit. I refused to "help" her (also know as do it for me compled) 2 days ago? Might be 3. I woke up yesterday morning or whatevz and my phone service was suspended. As I stated in the vlog. You guys notice the trend? My phones turned on only so she can bug me, ask for shitz and want stuff. She's fucking 54 years old (4/2/1957) {she shouldn't of taken a photo of her id. She's lucky her ssn isn't on it or id pwn her in the face} and still acting like a god damn child. Next I will post ALL of her phone numbers online and hope people harass her about stupid she is and how she treats her children. I have video from her down at t mobile yesterday. I havent viewed it but there should be comentary from me (the camera man) as well. Ard told me to do it so I did. Its only like 3 mins max tho. And the second pic, well that's a t mobile ota update. Rendered it a brick for 7 hours resulting in her calling samsung, mid update thus bricking the thing bc now data gets corrupted and or deleted randomly and guess whos fault that is? You guessed it! MINE. 28 days.. if all goes well I'm taking my student loans, putting myself in sum huge debt, undoing the bs of my past, and getting the fuck away from her. Sound good? I think it does!

Today has been so good. Tomorrow shall be good too!

So today I woke up and the bitch wasn't here. The bitch didn't walk in the door till like 3:40ish. I heard her voice faintly but my movies are so loud and my door is sealed (using a spare wash cloth) so she can't look in or speak to me outside of it bc I can't hear anything. I also replaced my skull candy dead phones with some cheapy onces from the dollar store while getting my epic rallys (checkers) lunch. Shout out to Ardivian for the look out! Tomorrow is a 5:26 am departure so that's always good. Maybe ill actually get some slep tonight bc I hand washed out my hoodie before the bitch got home. Rebecca seems to not be able to sync her music to my ipod so I plan on helpin her out tomorrow. All in all I had a great day bc I gawt rallys I really had a craving for it... I'm prolly gonna go to mc donalds, upload this. Get a mc chicken, come home, wash out a few lite things and power up some stix till tvd / nikita. Then try to go to sleep directly afterwards so I wont be tired in the am. Need to set my alarm and finally remember to take rebecca this starbacks mocachino er whatever its called so it can gtfo the fridge. If I don't make it to tri - c tomorrow I will def be there Monday afternoon since the finanical aid office dun open till 2 pm. I also got a free credit report done on myself. I'm goin hard to fix my life. I have $499 in my name left to pay from florida. I will call and confirm the amount with them and then see what I can do to fix it. May use some sl money on it so I can open an account in my own name finally. I have $200 in my name from the gas bill when I did that shit for the bitch. I have pics of the letter and I think voicemails she left about " the deal" so if need be ill drag her ass to court. I wont give her the free pass karen got. And finally the 80 - 65$ from at&t. Not too bad. Seems easy enough to correct that shit so I'm not completely ruined. Just need to push hard for that bc / ssc / new state id / license. Gonna see who will be nice enough to lend assistance lol. I mean with the license. I need a car! Fuck this bus bs. The camaro beckons!

no internet? still fuckin productive!

So seeing as I have no phone and no internet. This bitch thinks she can make me like her. No contact with the outside world. WRONG! You can't stop me. I'm motivated! So as I'm watchin a movie I think to myself I wanna be productive. So I bust out the cooling pad karen brought me. Its not much but it will at least extend my laptops zomfg power off nonsense when I'm forced to go to the pub. This will help me out until I gtfo and get a new laptop / cooling pad. Depending on what and how rebecca approaches things I guess we will see. Ima try to talk with her on Wednesday and hopefully everything goes smoothly. But I'm glad that both fans on this $5 cooling pad are now spinning. I put the screws back in and its working. I'm gonna leave my laptop on when I walk out the door in a lil bit. If its on when I get back that means it'll give me over an hr at the pub and ill be able to do more until I can get a new internal fan. I also figures out what size screw drivers I need to take it apart once I find a replacement internal fan. See the bitch in the other room cutting my phone and internet off forces more productivity. She doesn't know tri c doesn't require id to get shit done. Ima wait till the last second and be like I'm out bitch, fucka you!!!!! ;)

New Vlog UP!

Did a new informative vlog this am. I need feedback on content.

Help me out by commenting anywhere, texting messaging, etc about content you wanna hear and or see.

Thanks.

Gonna test this out via text since no interwebs. Lets see if it works!

what a bad day.

So the vlog is up. Which means I don't need to type much.

Http://www.youtube.com/user/BushinryuVlog

Nuff said.

My contact infos

You can find me on youtube

http://www.youtube.com/user/Nightmarel0rd

My VLOG can be found

http://www.youtube.com/user/BushinryuVlog

You can find me on twitter @Bushinryu

You can email me the.onslaught@gmail.com

You can find me on facebook.com/Bushinryu

You can find me on gamefaqs, "Bushinryu"

I am the orginal "Nightmarelord" From ffxi, i use to wield a relic i smashed stuff, made ppl emo had a ton of friends and a ton of haters.

Be warned my twitter is nothing more then hot cam chicks, a few of my friends, and alot of celebs im following. I need to clean it up so it will be more then just fap material but yeah im lazy.

Im known for liking japanese things like samurai, Bushinryu style, Gai (Guy in america) and of course the tonfas (stix, nigga beaters, billy clubs, NIGHT STICKS, etc)


I dont take much online seriously, theres always room for improvement, we all make mistakes and its clearly obvious in game videos. Some of us are better then others (main reason i had a relic and woulda went for the bow but i got bored) Haters gon hate but know that if u CANNOT TAKE IT, DONT DISH IT OUT.

Thanks and have a blessed Evening.

Update bout rl, youtube, gaming, videos and overall progress.

Hello readers, I've decided to finally post an update about things going on. Firstly to all you people who keep bugging me about gaming, if you haven't noticed, I post information publicly on twitter, facebook, here, and via messenger or text. If you want me to return to gaming that bad (which some of you bitch at me non stop about it) here's a though. Make a donation via paypal, you can include in the note as to what you would like me to do with said donation.If you do not have or do not wish to be bothered with paypal, you can get a moneypak card at your any local store / drugstore / wal mart / etc. You can load however much money you want onto the card, Send me the number and its a one time use kinda thing (see above for picture) If I pay at&t their $80 I can reactivate dsl and return to gaming. I previously got my router back from that cunt karen so I can game oknp after I pay the bill. If I could tether my phone to said router I could prolly game till I get throttled. But that doesn't seem to be an option. Please note I have direct access to anything in my paypal account via the pp business debit card (use to make a living / killing via ebay and paypal) but enough about that. I have about 7 videos I need to get onto youtube. The first 3 are there on my channel which I will probably edit in a link when I feel like looking at my craptop. They were merely a quality test and used to see if my phones camera was worthy. I have one video I feel I need to rerecord due to me toying with settings, it looks gross so I'm probably gonna rerecord it and its comentary.

In other news I have (2) unstamped 7 day passes thus I can make things happen if the witch gets stupid. (See pic above)

I decided against remington college In the long run. I'm gonna try my best to get in tri c and get it paid for and everything else I have left is going toward the move out fund. Hopefully I have enough to make it happen.

I've been spamming in online job apps daily. Anywhere from (3) to (10) apps a day. While making sure to not submit the same app twice.

Tomorrow is a last train to paris day so while I'm out visiting Rebecca I'm going to make sure my phones fully charged at her house and make calls to check up on apps after I drop her off at work. Kinda wish I had access to some dressy pants bc I know where my dress shirt is and it would work out well.

All is quiet on the witch front, she hasn't bugged me or said much since her ex-bf died and there was a funeral. (Too bad he's gone but I'm loving the silence)
So I guess that's it for me. Can't think of much else really. I'm glad to have the entire karen thing behind me. Fuck that cunt. I'm ignoring all okcupid and pof things in general. I have things and people in my life so I'm focusing on that. All pof and okc bullshit will be deleted and ignored. I'm trying to be positive and pray regularly. Any and all help is appreciated. Some of you really help me when in a pinch. Rebekah is like uber with last min saves. Thank you ever so much for the kindness. <3

posted via sticky notes android app.

Jo-ann fabric and craft

Rememer the microwave?

So um yeah.. im sure you guys remember me speaking about the microwave that my "mom" took into her bedroom to supposedly clean and what not. Well i have pivtures of the frayed cord which i snapped this morning.
Supposedly this is my fault as well. even tho i am NOT THE ONE WHO HAS A "YOU MUST UNPLUG THE MICROWAVE OR ITS WASTING ELECTRIC" bullshit rule that my mom has. so um, after each use. its unplugged aka excess wear on the cord for NO UTTER REASON.
This microwave is about as old as i am and im fucking 28, it doesnt have a rotator table inside, it doesnt even heat properly. usually things are always unheated evenly as old tech in microwaves is just that, OLD. its been needing replaced and i brought it to her attn in NOV before karen, THEN AGAIN IN DEC when karen first decided to forcefully show up with food. Why on earth do stupid ppl like my mom think things like this will just magically fix itsself? why do they think things last forever or never change or need to be replaced? i am lost and so fucking sick of her... going poidh.

From last night (long read, sorry)

So as i sit here @ 10:48 pm est, i took two sleeping pills that get rid of headaches bc my head was pounding.
But im not here about that, im here about the arguement that just happened earlier.
"mom" decided to get angry because i didnt put that stupid stick on the door.
Thing is if someone wants to break in they WILL use the damn windows.
Not the fucking door. but thats all irrelevent anywho seeing as if someone wants in they will get in regardles..
She uttered a few days ago that the reason she took my expired ohio id off my door is because " she doesnt know whos up in here when shes not"
only her and i have keys, i returned the keys to the front, and ill do the same about the back when i plan to move the hell out.
But my point is simple. SHES FUCKING HERE 13 of 14 days outta two weeks. To clarify, SHE LEAVES ONCE, EVERY OTHER THURSDAY AND THATS IT
She doesnt go anywhere. She has no life, she has no job, she had no friends. So how the hell would someone "be up in here when shes not here"
Oh thats right shes lying. but i think she forgets that i beleve NOTHING she says to me. EVERYTHING past present future is anticipated as a LIE unless it can be proven truth by evid or common sense.
But she decided to be ignorant and she finally pushed me to my limit, I responded "FUCK YOU, I dont have to do anything. You would NOT return my expired id so i can try to get in school and MOVE OUT"
She started talking about getting the locks to the back door changed, I replied "HEY, IF YOU WOULD GIVE ME MY FUCKING EXPIRED ID SO I CAN TAKE IT WITH ME THE NEXT TIME a SCHOOL WANTS ME TO ENROLL YOU WOULDNT NEED TO CHANGE LOCKS BC I DONT WAN LIVE WITH YOU"
she started mumbling more idiotic lies and i respond. "This is why my brother doesnt like you and keeps his distance and never comes around, What do you expect from a person who you pretty much lied to for 31 years about adoption? Idk if he hates you but im starting to have the same NEGATIVE views of you as him.
I have NO POSITIVE VIEWS Of YOU BC IM THE ONE WHO got stuck dealing with you your lies and your probably fake illness"
Mean i know, but it'll probably buy me a few days to a week of silence.
As much as i wanna be with rebecca and have mom finally leave my phone on and get outta my way.
Id rather let her know that her 50 years of lying and bullshit is finally collapsing around here as all her untruths are being exposed.
Funny thing is because i left mc donalds to come home i stopped at the church and prayed for forgiveness and peace,
Then this happens. I wonder if its me or my luck. I feel awful that i have to become this sephiroth like person whos heartless and merely wants to destroy everything And bring despair.
But i honestly have no other choice.  Im prolly gonna start recording her silently and posting it for everyone to say.
I dont want pitty really. i just want people to know why my fb,twitter,blog,etc is the way it is. And i really want people to know that im GREY. I stand in the middle, not good, not evil, but capable of either if given reason.

Again all i want is peace. i dont wanna fight and argue over petty shit. im glad the gas is outta my name but i dont like that ill probably end up having to take her sorry ass to court.
Thank god i took pix of the "letter" she wrote on feb forth.  im sure a court can prove she wrote it just by her hand writing and the fact she spells mother "morther" (showing her ignorance but shes so smart with her 3 degrees)
If anyone has any HELPFUL suggestions that they think i havent thought of let me know.
But please dont repeat things ive already thought of. like selling my things to get moved.
Theres no way my tv would sell nobody would pay for shipping and im not going to just bring it to them.
i have decided to sell some things like pandy battery and the unlocked at&t blackjack II
I personally hope to wake up with a buy request as i just wanna be able to spend some alone time with becca since her mom was home all last week so i didnt get any alone time with her.
And for all you pervs no, its not about sex. its the little things that matter as i am happiest when im with her, and the fact that i get to just chill and relax with her till she has to be to work...
Yea... shes the one thing that brings me happiness and gives me a small chance at no bullshot.

I just want out. I also told mom she has no sons, no friends, no family. Shes pretty much alone in all of this.
I dont know anyone who will want to be around her or help her once they get wind of who she is and all the lies.
So i guess thats it for me bitching. i am soooo tired of this life it isnt funny and im trying to better myself.
I noticed she didnt say shit about my id not one time when she finally forced me to raise my voice.
She barely said anything. Its like she knew a verbal raping was coming and she wanted to know what it was about.
She was in the door all smiling and shit like everything was cool earlier. I really shit in her cereal apparently by not acknowledging her and using the backdoor like normal.
when her microwave breaks finally shed better get a cab or get on the bus with a new one bc im not doing it.
Im still mowing over the idea of being homeless in a shelter bc id be less stressed then being here.
so yeah. i dunno. i know nobody except for like 3 ppl other then myself care but i need a place to be able to voice things.
All in all, if you have family you can talk to and or depend on for anything, DONT TAKE IT FOR GRANTED. I ENVY alot of pp who have family and all that i dont really know how to get thru to my brother.
Its like pulling teeth to actually catch up with him just to hang out and talk. i mean i know he prolly doesnt wanna be around or anywhere near mom but why am i at falt for this?
I see her lies and bullshit now and just wanna try to make things better. I realise that he nor my dad are the enemy, thus the enemy is one room over and pretending to be sleep.
Why cant i seem to get a win? from nov till now the only good thing to come into my life is rebecca. and even she came in on an negative note but we've connected and corrected that.

Sorry for the long blog, idk what to do. im hanging on by a few threads. just so tired of this bs.

IDL asking for anything but.. I need help. ideas etc. just want out. own place and peace. idc if my t mobile sim stays dead. means when i leave she cant annoy me. gonna have to tell becca i tried but my mom forced a huge arguement and i might not see her on wednesday due to lack of funds.
Story of my life. "If i had somewhere to go, i'da been done went. i aint neva had alot, just had a lil bit. I know im gon shine on em, IM gettin IT show out everytime on em, im getting it"
Quoted from young buck. i dont care what i have to do to be able to provide for myself and rebecca but im gonna keep spamming job apps and trying to hustle the internet until i get my shot at peace and freedom. know that if i get any help or i manage to get it done i wont fail and end up back here.